Jane's Addiction Singer Perry Farrell and Wife Etty’s Relationship Timeline

Perry Farrell and his wife, Etty Lau Farrell, may have one of the strongest relationships in rock and roll.

Farrell met his partner in 1997 while she was a backup dancer on his band Jane’s Addiction’s Relapse Tour. The two have been by each other’s sides ever since in both their professional and private lives.

“There has to be a mutual like and respect for the other person- in any relationship, but especially in a working relationship,” Lau Farrell shared in a February 2022 interview with Grit Daily News. “There can not be two heads. There always has to be one head. We have worked together for so long, but in a professional relationship he calls the shots. I can give my suggestions of course and argue for things I am passionate about, but at end of day, Perry has final say.”

She continued: “I joined him working with Jane’s Addiction, but I did not start that band. It’s the same for Lollapalooza. I am on board and I get a vote, but I still back Perry on any final decision. I think if you understand your roles, working together can be great!”

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Scroll down to see the couple’s biggest relationship moments:

1997

The duo met while working together on Jane’s Addiction’s Relapse Tour and began dating not long after.

2002

Farrell and Lau Farrell tied the knot the same year as they welcomed their first child together, son Hezron.

2004

The couple’s family expanded with the birth of their second son, Izzadore.

2012

Farrell and Lau Farrell celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary by renewing their vows in New York City. “It was super fun as our wedding party was very quickly immersed into part of the story line, where both our friends and strangers witnessed our vow renewal,” Lau Farrell reflected on the ceremony via Instagram in January 2021. “We were on tour with Jane’s Addiction at the time and it made it super special. Being that this was both our first marriages, and we were under a bit of a time crunch with Hezron on his way, we decided to elope.”

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2013

Farrell’s wife and kids supported him as he and his Jane’s Addiction bandmates — Stephen Perkins, Chris Chaney and Dave Navarro — received stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

2018

Farrell and Lau Farrell teamed up to form the band Kind Heaven Orchestra, which also featured members Chaney, Matt Chamberlain, Matt Rohde and Nick Maybury. The group released their debut album, titled Kind Heaven, the following year.

2019

“I will cling to you, Like I cling to life. I will cling to you like I do to life. Like butter does to the knife. Like darkness to the night. I will cling to you, my wife, like I do to life,” Lau Farrell wrote via Instagram in January 2019 in honor of her and Farrell’s 17th wedding anniversary.

That May, Farrell praised his wife with a sweet Mother’s Day post, writing via Instagram, “This one goes out to the INCREDIBLE @ettyfarrell from the whole #KindHeaven Team. Happy Mothers Day!!! – We love you. We’re inspired by you. And we’re all looking forward to what’s next.”

2020

“It was 19 years ago, I asked Etty Lau to marry me,” Farrell captioned a pic of him and longtime love via Instagram in December 2020. “On the morning that she drove me to LAX where I boarded a plane to Sudan, Africa with the intention of rescuing woman and children who were forced into a life of human bondage. Both events are forever tied together in my heart.”

2021

Farrell celebrated Mother’s Day by sharing a family photo of himself and Lau Farrell with their kids. “If it weren’t for you none of us would have a happy birthday,” he wrote via Instagram. “You work so hard to give us memories. Trips and tours sure but you’ve been there in those scary moments taking us to the hospital, or speaking to our teacher. As we grow so does your influence.”

2022

“The family that laughs together … works together … stays together. May there always be laughter wherever we go ,” Lau Farrell wrote via Instagram in honor of their milestone 20th wedding anniversary.

She went on to share the “secret of our marriage,” writing, “Well every relationship is different. But we had a conference call this morning, it was the first time I realized that part of what makes us special and strong is that we fight harder for each other than we do for our own self. Today, that really manifested to a point where it was nothing but clearly obvious … we have each other’s back.”

Lau Farrell concluded: “I don’t like do use the word soulmates because I think that term has been very loosely thrown around — I like to say that we are a MATCH. Happy #20thweddinganniversary to us .”

2024

Farrell made headlines in September 2024 for shoving his Jane’s Addiction bandmate Navarro during a reunion tour performance. After Navarro tried to push the singer back, Farrell was detained by security guards and led backstage, per social media footage. Following the incident, Lau Farrell explained via Instagram that technical issues were to blame for her husband’s actions.

“Perry’s frustration had been mounting, night after night, he felt that the stage volume had been extremely loud and his voice was being drowned out by the band,” she wrote alongside a clip of the altercation. “Perry had been suffering from tinnitus and a sore throat every night. But when the audience in the first row, started complaining up to Perry cussing at him that the band was planning too loud and that they couldn’t hear him, Perry lost it.”

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Noting that the band started playing a song before Farrell was prepared, Lau Farrell added: “Perry was a crazed beast for the next half an hour – he finally did not calm down, but did breakdown and cried and cried.”

Days later, the group announced they were taking a hiatus and canceled the remainder of their tour. Lau Farrell later shared via Instagram that her husband had booked appointments with an “otolaryngologist and a neurologist” to help himself recover from the fight.