Stepdad Trashes Pregnancy Reveal: 'Use a Condom. Stop Being Dumb.'
A man has taken to the internet for advice after seriously upsetting his wife. The tale, posted to an anonymous forum, featured a stepdad refusing to help out the son of his spouse after an emotional pregnancy reveal. While readers seemed mostly on his side -- despite how brutal his reaction was -- more details spilled out in the comments section that proved to be even more interesting than the original post. Read on to see how the whole thing played out. OP (a.k.a. the original poster) kicked things off by first giving some background. "My wife (40F) and I (42M) have been married for 3 years," he explained. "We don't have any kids together, but she has 2 kids from a previous relationship (21F & 19M)." "I have decent relationships with her kids but due to their ages when I met their mom, I never assumed a father-type role and they never expected me to fill that for them," he admitted. "Their bio dad is involved in their lives and we all get along pretty well. My stepdaughter is at college so we don't see her very often. My stepson (Joe) lives a few hours away from us with his GF and works full-time." Then came the inciting incident. "A couple weeks ago, Joe called my wife and asked if he and his GF could come visit. My wife was very excited because she hadn't seen Joe in a while. But Joe never just visits for fun," OP, however, had his reservations. "It's almost always when he needs something and knows my wife has a harder time saying 'No' if he asks in person." "So I wasn't surprised at all when Joe and his GF excitedly told us that they just found out they were expecting and GF is 9-weeks along," the stepdad went on to recount. "After the initial excitement and tears from my wife, Joe dropped the question I knew was coming. They want to move in with my wife and I while they get their feet under them because their current 1-room apartment isn't big enough for a baby." "My wife looked at me and must have sensed my hesitation because she said this is something we all need to discuss first to make sure it will work," OP continued. "Joe and his GF agreed and told us to ask them anything. My wife asked a few questions about whether or not this was planned and what their plans are besides moving in with us." "Joe and his GF started talking about how their apartment could work if absolutely needed, but it's tiny and there's no separate room for the baby. They could also save a lot of money by living with us and get a better place sooner that way." Things took a turn when the young couple admitted something very personal. "Then Joe's GF said that it wasn't planned but they are both so excited to be parents. She said that she had to switch birth control due to a hormonal imbalance and that Joe hates condoms and it just kind of happened. Joe then laughed and joked about how much condoms suck." This wouldn't be a viral Reddit post if it all ended there. "I had been mostly quiet up to this point. But after Joe made that joke, I spoke up. I told them that it sounds like both of them knew that GF was in a transition period with birth control and they knew this sort of thing could happen and yet still choose to be stupid about it," OP recalled. "I told them they are both idiots if they think I am going to be OK with them moving in with us with a baby when this situation was completely preventable by them not being dumb. Joe's GF started crying and my wife and Joe immediately started consoling her. My wife scolded me for being too harsh and that we all still have a lot to talk about." He went on to conclude: "My wife and I have been fighting about this ever since. She thinks we need to help in any way we can and I think that since Joe and his GF were dumb enough to get themselves into this, I don't want to end up being responsible for a baby when they inevitably do something dumb again." The post was placed into contest mode, and after thousands of votes a verdict was reached: NTA (not the a--hole). So while almost no one on the Reddit forum disagreed with OP, that doesn't mean there weren't plenty of questions. "I'm going to assume he’s a minimum wage or a bit higher?" one curious commenter asked. "He works in trades and actually does OK for his age," OP replied. "Definitely above minimum wage and his skills are easily transferable. GF is a waitress so that's pretty transferable too. But neither have any aspirations for higher education so their future earning potential is limited for sure. I don't think either of them have the ability to think very far into the future. Like I said, they're idiots." When someone else asked whose house it was the young couple wanted to move into, he responded: "It's my home that I inherited before we even met. She is not on the title or mortgage. We have separate finances so I pay for all things related to the house
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After jokes and laughter "about how much condoms suck" a bitter fight broke out leading to tears and financial worries.
A man has taken to the internet for advice after seriously upsetting his wife.
The tale, posted to an anonymous forum, featured a stepdad refusing to help out the son of his spouse after an emotional pregnancy reveal.
While readers seemed mostly on his side -- despite how brutal his reaction was -- more details spilled out in the comments section that proved to be even more interesting than the original post.
Read on to see how the whole thing played out.
Original AITA (Am I The A--hole) Reddit Post
OP (a.k.a. the original poster) kicked things off by first giving some background.
"My wife (40F) and I (42M) have been married for 3 years," he explained. "We don't have any kids together, but she has 2 kids from a previous relationship (21F & 19M)."
"I have decent relationships with her kids but due to their ages when I met their mom, I never assumed a father-type role and they never expected me to fill that for them," he admitted. "Their bio dad is involved in their lives and we all get along pretty well. My stepdaughter is at college so we don't see her very often. My stepson (Joe) lives a few hours away from us with his GF and works full-time."
Then came the inciting incident.
"A couple weeks ago, Joe called my wife and asked if he and his GF could come visit. My wife was very excited because she hadn't seen Joe in a while. But Joe never just visits for fun," OP, however, had his reservations. "It's almost always when he needs something and knows my wife has a harder time saying 'No' if he asks in person."
"So I wasn't surprised at all when Joe and his GF excitedly told us that they just found out they were expecting and GF is 9-weeks along," the stepdad went on to recount. "After the initial excitement and tears from my wife, Joe dropped the question I knew was coming. They want to move in with my wife and I while they get their feet under them because their current 1-room apartment isn't big enough for a baby."
"My wife looked at me and must have sensed my hesitation because she said this is something we all need to discuss first to make sure it will work," OP continued. "Joe and his GF agreed and told us to ask them anything. My wife asked a few questions about whether or not this was planned and what their plans are besides moving in with us."
"I don't want to end up being responsible for a baby when they inevitably do something dumb again."
"Joe and his GF started talking about how their apartment could work if absolutely needed, but it's tiny and there's no separate room for the baby. They could also save a lot of money by living with us and get a better place sooner that way."
Things took a turn when the young couple admitted something very personal.
"Then Joe's GF said that it wasn't planned but they are both so excited to be parents. She said that she had to switch birth control due to a hormonal imbalance and that Joe hates condoms and it just kind of happened. Joe then laughed and joked about how much condoms suck."
This wouldn't be a viral Reddit post if it all ended there.
"I had been mostly quiet up to this point. But after Joe made that joke, I spoke up. I told them that it sounds like both of them knew that GF was in a transition period with birth control and they knew this sort of thing could happen and yet still choose to be stupid about it," OP recalled. "I told them they are both idiots if they think I am going to be OK with them moving in with us with a baby when this situation was completely preventable by them not being dumb. Joe's GF started crying and my wife and Joe immediately started consoling her. My wife scolded me for being too harsh and that we all still have a lot to talk about."
He went on to conclude:
"My wife and I have been fighting about this ever since. She thinks we need to help in any way we can and I think that since Joe and his GF were dumb enough to get themselves into this, I don't want to end up being responsible for a baby when they inevitably do something dumb again."
Vietnam War Stories, History Repeats Itself & Other Reddit Observations
The post was placed into contest mode, and after thousands of votes a verdict was reached: NTA (not the a--hole).
So while almost no one on the Reddit forum disagreed with OP, that doesn't mean there weren't plenty of questions.
"I'm going to assume he’s a minimum wage or a bit higher?" one curious commenter asked.
"He works in trades and actually does OK for his age," OP replied. "Definitely above minimum wage and his skills are easily transferable. GF is a waitress so that's pretty transferable too. But neither have any aspirations for higher education so their future earning potential is limited for sure. I don't think either of them have the ability to think very far into the future. Like I said, they're idiots."
When someone else asked whose house it was the young couple wanted to move into, he responded: "It's my home that I inherited before we even met. She is not on the title or mortgage. We have separate finances so I pay for all things related to the house and we split shared bills."
Yet another, theorized: "Doing the math it looks like OP’s wife also had her first kid at 19. She must think it’s fine and good to be having kids at that age".
There was no response to that query but when another asked "why aren’t they moving in with her parents?" he replied with an abbreviated version of events.
"It was in a cow pasture with a rudimentary water/sewer hookup and a long extension cord. Thing was 30 feet by 8 feet - we managed."
"Long story. To keep it short, her dad passed away when she was young and her mom lost custody because of addiction before GF made it to middle school. She was in the foster system through high school."
While that story clearly showed a history of trauma, Reddit responses seemed entirely free of empathy ... as most were concerned with OP becoming responsible for this young family.
Others on the forum took the opportunity to tell their own walking to school uphill (both ways) stories, as this one Redditor did: "From the time my son was three months old until his first birthday we lived in a travel trailer. Not a motorhome, an old Airstream designed to be towed behind a car. It was in a cow pasture with a rudimentary water/sewer hookup and a long extension cord. Thing was 30 feet by 8 feet - we managed."
"Then his dad got back from Viet Nam, and we were able to rent a small house," she continued, explaining. "1960s landlords did not rent to 17-year-old females who didn't have a male available to cosign for them, even if they were married."
"OP's stepson wants guarantees of support, he hasn't earned them and needs to stay where he is until he can afford better. OP is NTA here," the commenter concluded.
Meanwhile, OP's Reddit account promptly disappeared soon after his post went into contest mode.
What's your take on it?
